Duranie Do's and Don'ts (as far at theICON is concerned)
"Instead of bashing the psycho Duranies here and there throughout the fanzine, how about a list of Duranie do's and don'ts (a graphic one). A sort of Emily Post article for those immature, rude Duranies who make it harder for the rest of us." -- Melinda McCoy
Melinda, thank you for your suggestion! We think it's a great idea so here it goes!
DON'Ts:
1. When meeting Duran, don't attack them or hover all over them. You'll be able to tell if they are approachable that day or not. If you attack them, you'll ruin the chances of meeting them for everyone else.
2. Don't call us or write us wanting to divulge your sexual habits or the most recent sexual position you've acquired. If we want to know, we'll ask. We have our own stories within the Board Members so we get enough good laughs.
3. Don't expect any of theICON Board Members to agree with you that any Duran member is "God". We should all know by now that it's a crock of shit.
4. If you subscribe to any other fanzine, please keep your mouth shut and don't say "so-and-so do that". And please do not copy or photocopy any part of theICON. Remember, we do have a copyright and will do whatever is necessary to stop anyone who infringes that copyright!
5. Don't call 8 times a day to ask stupid questions. Get to the point and leave it at that.
6. Don't spread rumors!!
7. Don't tell us how much you love a Duran member. We really don't care.
8. Don't try to share with us your sexual Duran fantasies. Like they'll ever happenŠ REALITY CHECK!!!!
DO's:
1. Do call your local radio stations and ask to hear Duran Duran.
2. Do buy the new album, CD, cassette, 12", etc., at a store with "SoundScan". Billboard uses this to determine record sales for the charts. When an artist is in the Top 10, radio stations and video shows are more likely to play them and of course that leads to popularity, tour dates, etc.
3. Do consider yourself a spokesperson for Duran. In other words, if a non-fan happens to make a rude comment concerning Duran's Stardom, stick up for the guys. But please realize that your comments will be more likely to be heard and/or accepted if you are mature about them. Nobody wants to hear a psycho ramble on. And remember, if you try and can't seem to change someone's mind, your other option is to just close it further.
4. Do keep your underwear on at concerts (and not throw them at the guys). I would personally be a little disgusted if someone flung their crusties at me; it would kind of spoil the mood, wouldn't it?
5. Bunnychuckers: Do save everyone some time and donate those stuffed animals to organizations in your area or, better yet, donate some of your hard-earned bucks to help those in need, instead of pouring lavish gifts on the guys every time you see them.
6. When taking photos, please keep it to a minimum. The guys are usually quite polite about a picture or two but keep in mind that you are on "vacation" and they are not.
7. If you are so lucky as to et that perfect pose, please don't be a hog and start grabbing their faces for "just one more". We don't think it takes a genius to figure out that this could be considered assault. (If you are arrested, that one phone call better not be to us, because we'll let your ass rot.)
8. Do get off your ass and stop watching Duran videos over and over. It's okay to love the guys but why not be more productive, and promote them? If it means stopping by your local record store and giving a bitch session, do it. We know someone who personally went to Capitol Records to find out what was going to with the Big Thing album; after hours of being ignored and getting the run-around, he stood up on a chair and announced that if he didn't get any answers NOW that he would drop his drawers. It is amazing how threatening to show those BVDs can get results in a respected office building. Just remember: Marky Mark gets paid to show hiss; you might find yourself booted out (if you're lucky). We are NOT responsible for any fan's actions!
9. Do subscribe to theICON!! (Sorry, couldn't help ourselves there.)
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