Ten Ways To Spot A Duran Fan
1. If you hear a twenty-something using the word contrived, honey, she's family!
2. Anyone wearing a fedora hat, Seven And The Ragged Tiger T-shirt, jazz oxfords, Duran buttons, or the infamous denim jacket with puffy hot-pink Duran symbols is obviously a Duran fan, if not mental. In the immortal words of Andy Taylor, Wrong decade, bitch!
3. That not-so-conspicuous platinum blonde who just happens to be carrying a copy of Hello! Magazine. Yup, she's one!
4. If you assume someone is a Duran fan but aren't quite sure, ask him or her what their all-time favorite movie is. We'll bet money that Barbarella is one of the top five! If you really want to confuse them, go into a spiel about John Fonda's work since then. Huh? Get a clue.
5. If she's large, hairy and hanging outside of a nice hotel, chances are she is the Queen of Duran She-Wolves.
6. If their passport is only stamped with Heathrow, they not only are a Duran fan, but a lucky person.
7. If you notice that the Ma Bell bill is over $200 a month, they're obsessed.
8. If their address book is longer than the Chicago telephone book, mayday!
9. If you notice a male/female mentioning that they have a friend in Des Moines, Topeka, Atlanta, several in London, and a few more scattered around the European boundaries, they're a Duranie. If you meet this person, give them our address, please!
10. If they own a 1993 automobile and it is pushing 130,000 miles, or the person in question has enough frequent flier miles to go to the moon and back BINGO!
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