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“The Worst X-Man Ever”, A Comic Review

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In this edition of “Marvelous Marvel”, Cozy Kealoha reviews the comic “The Worst X-Man Ever”. Much like a lot of different series this year, it was one he wasn’t planning on reading but he’s extremely glad that he did.

 

worstxmenI recently read and was surprised by a short mini-series called The Worst X-Man Ever. Much like a lot of different series this year, it was one I wasn’t planning on reading but extremely glad that I did. I had caught up on most of my other reading and had a few other stragglers in my queue. I figured since it was a mini-series I would jump into it and if I didn’t like it, it wouldn’t be hard to jump out.

One of this comic’s biggest strengths is that it’s able to relate to readers on a universal scale. The story opens with a boy named Bailey and his friend is giving him girl advice. He’s in high school. I think a lot of us have been in a situation like that. Asking a friend for advice on finding someone to date. Unfortunately for Bailey, he’s just a bit too plain. He doesn’t lean towards anything in particular. Nothing about him sticks out. He’s vanilla; normal.

His parents sit him down and tell him that they’re mutants and by extension, he’s almost certainly a mutant. The state of affairs in the Marvel universe is and always has been one of fear around mutants. Being in the vicinity of one is a terrifying prospect much less being one, but Bailey welcomes it openly. He finds it as a way to finally be something different. A way to escape a life that seems doomed to a fate of mediocrity.

After his genetics are tested his results come back positive for the X-Gene. He’s a full-fledged mutant. With a name like, “The Worst X-Man ever”, this is where I figured it’d take a turn. He was going to either be completely incompetent with his powers or his powers were going to be utter trash. 

 

There have been some pretty lame mutants before. Not every idea can be a Wovlerine or a Gambit. Some

Thank you for that succinct explanation, Beast.

Thank you for that succinct explanation, Beast.

ideas are for mutants are like Skin, who can only stretch out, you guessed it, their skin. Lame as it is, it’s a power that can have its uses.

 

What Bailey gets is the ability to explode.

Once.

He can’t heal so he won’t put himself back together. Quite the useless mutation but Beast offers to take him in nonetheless. To turn him away would be hypocritical of their cause. It’s too bad he doesn’t get much of a choice.

To make matters worse, his parents are immediately killed afterwards. They’re stomped on by a Sentinel. The kid just can’t cut a break. With nowhere else to go, he decides to stay at Xavier’s school.

At this point, the story has a wonderful balance of seriousness and comedy. The story is one that is less about learning to use talents and more about trying to figure out how to love one’s self. Bailey is in a constant state of doubt and feeling lost. Though there are people who want to help, he’s usually too focused on what he doesn’t have to realize what he does.

The story shifts between temptation of being able to attain something through unsavory methods and trying to become happy with what’s already there. Bailey jumps from team to team trying to find a place to fit in but is so unhappy he can’t figure it out. He’s unsure and despises what he feels is uselessness.

It’s a story that a lot of teenagers can relate to and one that even adults can look back on. The tumultuousness of being a teenager and trying to fit in. Even in a cast of beings that society at large has deemed to be outcasts, he can’t even catch a break there. It’s presented well without being overbearing or pompous.

For real, not too many people with GOOD powers would jump on Juggernaut like that.

For real, not too many people with GOOD powers would jump on Juggernaut like that.

What begins as a story of comedy does evolve into one of tragedy. The short series is littered with moments when his true mettle shines through. Times when he demonstrates that there are things that he can do, but he gives up on himself too easily. It becomes a sad story as you root for Bailey. You just want him to realize that there’s more to being a mutant than just having flashy powers. You hope that he recognizes that there is a a place among the new family that took him in.

At the end of the series he finally comes to terms with his power (or lack thereof). It was a satisfying conclusion even if a little predictable. For that matter, once it got into issue three, it was pretty obvious where things were starting to head. However, that shouldn’t prevent anyone from reading it.

I did enjoy the art direction throughout. It’s very basic; a less is more approach. It’s vibrant in all the right places and even uses lots of background cues to provide humor. It’s far from the most impressive piece of art you’ll see, but it works perfectly for this story. The art aids in giving the feel to the environment. Mostly soft edges but quickly switching to hard lines for more intense times.

It was a comic that I enjoyed reading and if you need something to tide you over for a bit, I don’t think this is a bad decision. It doesn’t drag anything out more than it has to, has a clear ending, and it leaves you feeling satisfied.

 

Pros:

-A story anyone can easily relate to

-Nice use of mood changes

-The story doesn’t drag on and gets straight to the point

 

Cons:

-Somewhat predictable

-Thematic elements are nothing new even if the delivery is slightly different

-Low reread value

 

3.5/5 Stars

 

I live with an unstoppable, indomitable and perpetually radiant spirit. Infectious and obnoxious to a fault I'll talk your ear off about anything I can think about. I'm a goofy kid who's in love with the world and all the things it has to offer. I sing in public, dance in my car, and laugh as loud as possible. I'm also inconsistent with my Oxford Commas and I love puns. There's my about me. Hopefully that's sufficient? I'm not really good at those.

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3 out 5

War For the Planet of The Apes: Review

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 “Cesar is Legendary, Visual Spectacle But Story Falls Short”

 

The film opens fifteen years after the biohazard cure to Alzheimers, created by Will Rodman (James Franco) in Rise of the Planet of The Apes. Now humanity is on the verge of extinction and the Alpha Omega platoon, an extremist branch of the military, is putting up a misdirected fight for the survival of man kind. The first scene of the movie was the first and only scene of all out war between apes and humans which falls short of my expectations.

I thought the film was good, and according to Rotten Tomatoes it was almost perfect, rated at 95%. But this score is inflated and I can’t find out why so many critics haven’t seen what I’m seeing. Andy Serkis obviously steals the show as Cesar and the audience is forced to root for him the entire time until Colonial (Woody Harrelson) gives a sob story about his son, which doesn’t hit home for me. This isn’t what “Planet of the Apes” should be because I don’t have a choice to be on “team human” because the film chose for the apes for me.

First, the film completely demonizes the United States military. Not that there aren’t any discrepancies in the culture of the United States military but in the universe of this film they are the equivalent of Nazi’s. This sound’s extreme but their base was the equivalent of a death camp, making the apes work and planning to exterminate them afterwards. They don’t give the antagonist, the Colonial a name, making him out to be a robotic dictator. They do chant’s and war cry’s which resonate with the First Order in the new Star Wars series. I don’t think I am naive saying that most human’s don’t act like this and their specific cause for war isn’t clear. Will killing all the apes bring back the human population? No probably not, and it’s troubling that the only solider, Preacher (Gabriel Chavarria) who seems like he could sympathize with the apes undergoes no change. Even in the emotional stand-off with Cesar (who sparred his life) he is going to shoot the ape showing man kind’s overall downfall.

The apes seemed more human then the human’s which was a dark side to this movie that wasn’t supported by character development but by stereotypes and extremists. Finally, the ending may have been salvaged by writer/director Matt Reeves introducing the rest of the United States military, showing that the ape killer Nazis were not affiliated with them. But again the humans are demonized as white coated soldiers attempt to shoot a harmless, unarmed Cesar. But the apes win because of the avalanche, which seems metaphorical for the course of nature defeating evil but who know’s? What I would prefer is the message of acceptance and progressiveness from the arriving soldiers, maybe having them guide the apes to a safe haven. Instead, what is given is the theme of segregation and no the unified consciousness between the humans and the apes.

Yes, this movie is visually stunning and the actors/actresses did a phenomenal work giving an authentic performance with the burden CGI and motion capture. But I cant overlook a three-hundred pound gorilla riding horseback, or the apes making a cross country expedition in two minutes to some safe “dessert” as quoted in the movie. There were a lot of general aspects to the writing which strayed from what the series did the past two films. This series strives for realism, but was so conventional in doing so. The Colonial kills Cesar’s wife and son which is typical stake building, and I didn’t care for the characters enough to mourn.

I got a lot of the apes confused, and the only two I could identify a character with were Cesar and Bad Ape (Steve Zahn). There was also this notion that some of the apes betrayed their own kind for the promise of survival by the Colonial. This didn’t seem strong enough for me to turn apes against each other. Especially, when Red Donkey (Ty Olsen) whip their fellow apes and how they are treated by the human, having offensive names written on their back. If these apes are so smart, there is no way they could possibly think survival would come of turning on their own kind for the extremist group which hates apes. The only way this would work is if there was a line Cesar was crossing, in which he never does because he remains peaceful and protective of his fellow apes.

I thought this movie was entertaining and visually stunning to see at the cinema. But it lacked plot specificity and the time lapsing between the events make it less appealing. There was not much “war” and strategy but more figuring out how to escape the work/death camp. This was so drawn out that it would serve better as an HBO series, in which there would actually be a war with numerous battles and effective character development. A visual spectacle and entertaining film, but not a very compelling story.

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3 out 5

‘Saga of Tanya the Evil’ Episodes 5 and 6 Review

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 Cuteness has its perks.

Spoilers ahead.


As I mentioned in my previous review on ‘Saga of Tanya the Evil’, the only aspect of this show keeping me intrigued is Tanya herself. And she continues to do so, but in a new and charming way.

Episode 5 starts with Tanya selecting people to join her mage battalion. She does this alongside Viktoriya, and I’m still wondering why they are the only two women you see in the entire show. Again, I don’t really think the time period would accept women in the army, but this is an alternate reality, after all.

Anyway, Tanya puts the soldiers through some very intense training. Imagine having to dig a hole, hide in it, and wait 36 hours until bullets stopped firing down on you. Imagine marching for hours only to have an avalanche come down and bury you. Even though the training is extreme, everyone comes out of it alive, and after a month, Tanya has a mage battalion.

Much to her dismay, of course. She’s in shock that the soldiers continue on.

With her new battalion on hand, Tanya is sent to battle. However, since the enemy has no mages on their side, the battle is easily won. Think a full-fledged army versus a 50-man mage battalion. That’s how easy it was.

And Episode 6 shows Tanya’s strides in growth as she manages to scare away a fleet of bombers from battle. You wouldn’t think a little girl would be terrifying, but you have to keep in mind that this is Tanya Degurechaff we’re talking about. She’s fierce, fantastic, and fearless. Unless we’re counting Being X as a fear, then that’s a big one for Tanya. I still find it interesting that God, or Being X, is portrayed in a rather terrifying manner.

Possessing people is one thing, but just the way he holds conversations is nightmare fuel.

I think I’ll actually raise my rating to a 3.2 out of 5. The war terminology is still confusing, and I get so caught up in action that I don’t hit the pause button to read people’s military titles. There’s so many characters, but the only ones that are memorable are Tanya, Viktoriya, and Being X. Tanya especially continues to make this show as great as it is. Because kids are already scary, but this one takes the cake.

 

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3 out 5

‘Akiba’s Trip’ Episode 6 Review

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Stand back everyone, the robot’s got this.

If you thought ‘Akiba’s Trip’ couldn’t get any weirder, well guess what. You were wrong. Tamotsu has a new love interest, and she (it?) comes in the form of a computer…robot…thing.

After Tamotsu has issues with his WinMadOS computer (hm, I wonder where they got that name from), he decides to build his own computer. However, he forgets the most important part. Every computer needs an operating system, of course!

Cue La-san and her cuteness as she convinces Tamotsu to install an AI-driven operating system. This AI takes the form of a cute girl that Tamotsu lovingly names Pyuko. Even though in English it would seem the name sounds like puke. But whatever.

Tamotsu becomes very obsessed with this AI program, even wishing that he could take Pyuko with him to explore Akiba. However, La-san fixes this problem and makes it so that the computer, along with Pyuko, can move, becoming a small robot.

This leads to some weird sequences of Tamotsu and Pyuko exploring Akiba together. Akiba’s an interesting city in and of itself, but a kid walking around with a robot and interacting with it isn’t really normal.

Matome is pretty jealous of how much attention Pyuko gets from Tamotsu, but this all changes when the Bugged Ones appear in the shape of other computers. I won’t go into details, but a noble sacrifice is made by one of the characters in order to save the day.

So for now, I’ll raise my rating a bit to a 3 out of 5. There wasn’t actually a lot of stripping involved in this episode, and it took an interesting twist for once, rather than following a linear plot. Although, I feel like this episode really called out all otaku in regards to AI girlfriends or waifu obsessions. Also, how is Matome not dead yet? Like, does wearing one sleeve of a jacket still count as being clothed? Interesting.

 

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